Over the past few months, I have focussed my inner language on acceptance. The breadth of this line of contemplation is expansive. In a nutshell, it is about finding purpose and beauty in all things internal, external, and universal. For example, once I made my household a party of two instead of one, I had twice as much to pick up. And, now we are a party of four, two of which keeping getting bigger and more stuff, I am picking up four times as much stuff. Stuff stuff stuff. The acceptance comes when my anxiety over too much clutter and misplaced things rises to my head, I am working to let it go and just pick it up. Now, before you imagine me trailing behind all my peeps with a dust pan and yelling expletives, understand this is a work in progress. I am trying to not announce my chatter of frustration aimed to create a seed of guilt in their minds. Rather, I am claiming some tasks, assigning other tasks, and accepting that quite a few items of stuff will end up in the trash or resale. I am currently considering holding hostage of washed and folded clothing until dirty laundry hits the basket instead of the floor in a habitual manner. In turn, this will promote an exuberant display of anger and blame on their part. I accept that.
As I begin to find acceptance in the inner and outer workings on my life I have learned that the more I resist, the more the problem persists. The other day, not even considering the whole phenomenon of Balck Friday, I zoom into Target assuming I could purchase desired toy at sale price. Wrong. There is no desired toy. Not here, not there, not anywhere. After a moment of frustrion in my head, I shrugged and said to myself, if it is meant to be, it will happen. When I woke the next day, I thought, even though my city's store called that city's store and found no desired toy, I think I will call promptly when they open to make sure. Sure enough there was one desired toy! Once the kids were settled in school, I ventured to said neighboring town to purchase desired toy put on hold. Yeah, check off awesome Santa at our house. Being as the shopping is quite questionable in my town, I thought I would drive through the mall of the "fancy" stores. If a car pulled out of a parking space then I would spend an hour window shopping. Just as I finished the thought, a car pulled out. I parked. I wandered. I liked. I didn't like. And, I ended up in one of my favorite stores. As I started to look for Christmas gift suggestions to add to my wish list, I heard a familiar voice. One of my closest friends had just popped in to do the same. We lunched. It was a blessed morning that led to a copacetic afternoon and evening.
Over the past weeks, there as been a series of frustrations that melted into better solutions then previously imagined. I found looking at the bright side extremely fulfilling. Like the other day, In begrudgingly entering my eye care facility, I helped usher in an elderly couple that reminded me of my grandparents. I had a quick chat with the woman about the silver lining of them giving up driving. She thanked me and smiled as I let her in front of me in line. Then, I discussed my boots with the gentleman behind me as he thought they would be perfect for his wife for Christmas. My day continued with bits of gifts given and received. It all started with opening up a door with a big smile and good morning.
Yes, that is what happens when you find acceptance and patience in irritations. You smile. I lost count of how many times women have told me they have enjoyed practicing next to me on their mats in yoga. At first I thought it was odd. My balance is still off after a year of recovering from brain surgery. I am falling all over the place so how could that be any good? Last week, a fellow yogi inadvertally explained these locker room comments when she said, "Where you aware that you smile the entire class?"
Maybe we don't get it right most of the time. What is right? Maybe we aren't the perfect mom (or dad) with all the answers. Could you tell me what a perfect parent is? Now, think about perfection from the child's mind. Changes your perspective, doesn't it? Maybe things just seem to get in your way at work, on the road, at home, and in the gym. Could it be a reason for this? Could it be you are going the wrong way, need to slow down, or not ready of it yet. If it happens differently then planned, is it okay, maybe better? Just think, if I hadn't had the frustration finding the only toy my son really wanted from Santa, I would not have had the timely luncheon with my dear friend who I have been missing in the maze of our revolving doors. Nor, if things in the past didn't happen as they did, would I be wrapped in a cozy shaw knowing the heartfelt message of caring it embodies. Find gratitude in the things that you have just the way they are and acceptance in the things you can not change. Live here now while moving froward. Smile and open doors for people seeing their perfection in their imperfection in the moment of your shared presences.
