A Fresh Start

There are many reasons one needs to start over.  For the past year and four months, I have been battling to survive stage IV breast cancer.  There is the disease.  And there is life.  I am a lucky gal with some pretty awesome battle wounds to show for my efforts.  I am told often that I am admired for my strength and endurance.  Thank you.  Surgery, chemo, Cyberknife, all of that is nothing in comparison to the mental battle. 

So it is time for me to get a fresh start.  I have gained my physical strength back and learned to live with constant animated sensations in my left arm where the lymph nodes were removed and nerve endings interrupted.  Some part of each day is spent worrying about the cancer coming back and dreading the fact that I will have to continue my cancer treatments for the rest of my life.  So with all that baggage running around in my head, I can not go back to the life I had before.  Not exactly.

Cancer really has consumed all my time.  So I can fit "it" all in with my kids during the day light hours, I stay up to the wee-hours completing my household chores.  Now if only I could weed the garden in the dark without getting eaten alive by mosquitoes, life would be perfect.  (Sorry, yard, I have neglected you for two weeks.)

This month's project is moving my studio.  I had been using the fourth bedroom.  It is the largest with a wonderful view of the backyard and mountains in the distance.  I could see the storms roll in and sunsets.  But, the room became no longer functional.  It was crowded with stuff, not all of it mine.  And, it shares walls with two bedrooms.  So I decided it was time for a fresh start and move my studio to the front bedroom where Jack slept.

This is quite the undertaking removing built-in cabinets and reestablishing the computer system elsewhere int the house.   All to end up in a small 10 foot by 10 foot room with a small window, southern exposure, and poor view.  However, I can run my sewing machine through all those mid-night hours without disturbing my family, that is the idea anyway.  And, really, this is all about getting a fresh start.  It is about something different, something new, something mine...all mine.