Why throw a party for yourself? I mean, come on, you are 36, and it isn't like you are a spring chicken or anything. Today has a lot of meaning to me. Two years ago, on my 34 th birthday, I was recovering from a liver biopsy. I felt dopey and nauseated still from the sedatives (I hate opiates.) My side hurt and it was hard to breath as they did pass through my lung to get there.
Two years ago and twenty days ago, I was a stage two breast cancer survivor. Yet, just days before my birthday, just a week before my surgery, I slipped into a world that is unfathomable to most. My ladies, my parents, my friends came to watch me animate the surgery on my breast cake topped with candied cherries for nipples. Apparently I was quite humorous, but I really don't remember.
A year ago, I threw a party on my birthday because I was in remission. I was going to start a life "after cancer." So of course, a party had to be held to share my joy. Yet, through out the year, I tripped back into the cancer world and realized I was here to stay. I realized stage four did not mean life after cancer. No, stage four means life WITH cancer.
Each birthday is a miracle from this point forward. So, heck yah, I am throwing a party. I am throwing a party because when I look in the mirror, I cry. Yes, I am strong. Yes, if there is anyone who can do this, it is me. Yes, I meditate and sweat in hot yoga right through my days...so I can get through them to the next. Yes, it really is more then I can handle. It is. So, heck yes, I will throw a party and see my friends as they hold me up with their safety net. And yes, it is my party and I will cry if I want to. Happy birthday to me. Keep fighting baby because there is a lot of growing up and birthdays yet to see.
No comments:
Post a Comment