Ice Cream for Dinner

I know what your grandmother is thinking when she has ice cream for dinner night after night. "Might as well, this could be it for me. Better enjoy while it lasts.". I asked my oncologist today what his take on diet is. He told me he was going to be honest when he said, "I think we are beyond that point.". He went on to clarify that the whole vegan -cancer craze, in his opinion is good for prevention. For me, continuing a healthy diet of mainly vegetables and meat proteins is the way to continue my physical strength. Earlier in the conversation, just after we cheered that I was in full remission for the third time in three years, he said that this is quite remarkable. He said he honestly thought he was going to loose me this winter. But, I kept trooping again, beating the odds. Three years ago before my chemotherapy, I was told to realize that my type of cancer has a nine month survival rate. Three years ago and brain tumors too, damn it, I am still here. Most days I can't even believe I have cancer. How can that be real? How can it be that I have to fight to stay alive? In book club we read the Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. There are some great one liners in there that I made into mantras. He is talking about going in to a corner. Other drivers see the spin out that is going to happen and the accident as they loose control. But, what makes him a great driver in the rain is that he sees the spin out, makes it happen before while he is in control, and projects a successful corner. "What one sees out his windshield will manifest." Oh, the lovely life I see out my windshield. I am here on this earth to make art and be my kids' mom. Just before Easter, I was baptisized as an adult in my church. This is something surprising. I did not grow up with the belief in adult baptism. Then, I heard him say, "Go be baptisized and be a follower and not a fan. I follower the teachings of Jesus and continue my faith in God. I have balanced my spirituality and pray. Today, as I was overrwhelmed with tears of joy, triumph, sadness, and dispear, I prayed. Dear Lord and universe of Humaness, thank you for the past three years. Thank you for stregth that I didn't have so you provided. May this strength continue as long as I am needed here on this Earth. Allow me to continue to raise my children and teach them compassion. Allow me to give them my gifts so they may go out in this world and do something for it bigger then I could every imagine. Please God, may I serve as the pedalstool holding up my children until they are able to step down on their own with tall spins and creative minds. For this is my present in the present. Amen. And, now, snot running down my lip, I will go to yoga. I will thank my body for its incredible power. I bless my mind for staying the course and manifesting out my windshield the future I am meant to manifest. God bless you. PS. Did I make it clear that all tests where clear? So ice cream for dinner to celebrate...maybe.