Day 22 through Day 25. Little Boy Lost

Some where in the past weekend I lost my son, found him, lost him again, and now he is all tucked into bed, safe. It is hard being a boy. Not strong enough for much and determined enough to get into trouble. This past year, we entered a world of boyhood that is a skipped chapter in the Now You Have a Boy manual. He pushed me to places I never knew I would go. I discovered anger through my frustration. Yet, inspite all the shoving, behind the mask, he is fragile. His ego is so fragile. This weekend pushed him up and down his rollercoaster at excellerated speeds. .....On Saturday, we woke at dawn to drive to central Colorado for a raft trip. Son went through his usual ups and downs of fear and excitement at the enterance of something new. It was a wonderful day full of Colorado air, bird watching, and splashes. At lunch, the skies got grey. Rain sent its impending presence with the dirty smell of ozone. Son was nervous. Son hid under the table for a few sprinkles. Son said he would never go rafting again. Alas, after getting back in the boat and high tailing it out of the pocket of drizzle and gusty winds, the sun shined. Son, once again shed his fears and asked if he could swim in the cold water. The day was long and pleasant. Sitting on the warm deck for dinner retelling all our bird encounters was a treat after the cold afternoon. (The stars of the day were a bald eagle, horned owl, goslings galore, golden hawk, turkey vultures, red wing black birds, sparrows, butterflies, a hare, and a beaver.) .....Sunday, Father's Day, was also full of family fun. After a slow waking and breakfast, we dash off to Water World not knowing much about the place. We find out on the way it is about $40 per ticket, $120. We arrive and Son has a crying fit of fear in the parking lot. The line is long and frustrations were hit. So we head up north a few minutes to the Bay, my original suggestion for the day. Son is nervous for the slides even though he has been to the Bay a dozen times. After reassurance he only has to go on what he wants, we head in. Short line, fathers were free, and we had a lunch. Total cost for a day of sun, swim, slides and family, $20. I am so proud of Son. I asked him over and over if he trusted me. Finally, he said yes, and we went on a bigger, twisty slide together. After about five times together, he wanted to go a lone. Yeah! Then he even tried the other slides. Of course, I bribed him with a cookie which he certainly didn't forget. My reward for the end of the day was going to yoga class and then getting compliments for my dinner. That was the first time in a really long time that not one single person turned their nose up to one single morsel put on their plate...and it wasn't pasta. ....After a weekend like that, the record player got stuck on one line, what are we doing now? Where are we going now? Well, okay, there just happened to have been a park day planned by Son's buddy from school. No ome showed, kids had an okay time anyway, and it was nearly one hundred degrees by 11:00 am when we left. So we head to the smoothy store and then the pet store. Home with the two female betas, Sparkles and Fireworks, that are reward for "confident mornings" during the school yesr. Why two females? Well, you can imagine one kid wants a beta male, another wants a guppy, the the first changes mind for a gold fish, and second child starts to walk out of the store because he wasn't getting his way. See, Mommy is only cleaning one enviroment so one bowl, two fish, and betas fight and eat other fish. So just in time, She swoops in with a grand solution of two female betas. Of course Second Child will have nothing to do with this idea until She, the store employee, shows him a slender beta in brilliant blue she says is a special dragon beta. Sold. Compromise made, and the day is only half over. Afternoon spent going through clothes kids out grew or will no longer wear. Yeah, two bags full. Then the victory lap for the day, Wendy Woo at the Prospect Eats in the park. Wow, what fun! Great food even though my favorite food truck, Herilooms, was absent. My dad joined us and a friend showed up so we danced and grooved. ....Now, today, tired Son moved in and out of lion and lamb. Nothing was right. He felt like a failure at one moment and then was silly entertainer the next. It truely is exhausting. There is a silent battle a parent strategically wars in their head. Okay, the kid is truely hurt, empathy. Okay he is faking it, how do I handle this again? He just wailed on his sister, but she did just scream in his ear, both to time out. He hates the world and himself, empathy again, right? Oh, crap his fish we bought yesterday is totally dead. Now what. Phew, the ability to get a badge on the SuperMom cape for rushing off to the pet store to exchange said dead fish for a lively beta in cream and red that looks more like a firework is an awesome skill. A quick talk about death and pet heaven. Just smile and say, "What do you think? That sounds about right." An afternoon play date with siblings of appropriate ages is a blessing for SuperMom. Small chores completed, batteries changed in animated dragon, nail polish located and girl time on the deck defended, and airplanes made with immature hands are mended. Oh, yes, there was a crash or two along the way. But, I stayed strong with empathy and hugs and He came back. I just hope ten years is enough time to get him ready to be a good boyfriend and future husband. I think I will get a rainbow stripe on my cape. Oh, yah, one that has a little irridesence. ....hey, has anyone noticed that the young ladies are wearing their hair up in big buphants reminiscent of the sixties and reflective of the mall-hair of the eights?